


tell me we'll never get used to it

by Penthos



Category: Captain America (Movies), The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: M/M, Skinny!Steve, hey look i cant write anything except porn and kissing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-07
Updated: 2014-06-07
Packaged: 2018-02-03 18:34:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,308
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1754245
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Penthos/pseuds/Penthos
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Hey, Stevie, can I tell you a secret?"</p><p>They're lying on their backs on the couch cushions in Steve's living room and the orange streetlight filtering in through the blinds is the only source of light. It makes everything seem warm and soft and Steve loves nights like this because it's just him and Bucky and whispered secrets that are pinky-promised never to leave that room. </p><p>"Sure you can, Buck." Steve whispers back, rolling over so he's facing Bucky on the cushions. Bucky doesn't speak for a minute and Steve thinks he's forgotten what he was going to say when he opens his mouth. </p><p>"I ain't never kissed a dame."</p>
            </blockquote>





	tell me we'll never get used to it

**Author's Note:**

> title from Richard Siken poem, Scheherazade
> 
> backseat bingo was slang for making out in a car

"Hey, Stevie, can I tell you a secret?"

They're lying on their backs on the couch cushions in Steve's living room and the orange streetlight filtering in through the blinds is the only source of light. It makes everything seem warm and soft and Steve loves nights like this because it's just him and Bucky and whispered secrets that are pinky-promised never to leave that room. 

"Sure you can, Buck." Steve whispers back, rolling over so he's facing Bucky on the cushions. Bucky doesn't speak for a minute and Steve thinks he's forgotten what he was going to say when he opens his mouth. 

"I ain't never kissed a dame." He says, and it takes Steve a moment to process what he says. It takes another minute to fit that in with all the memories he has of Bucky regaling the hundreds of kisses he's had and all the dames he's swept away.

"You... but what about everything you've told me?" Steve's grinning, sure Bucky must be joking, but he's still staring very intently at the ceiling and looks to Steve to be completely serious. 

"It wasn't true." He mutters, and just like that, Steve's laughing and clutching his chest as he rolls onto his back. He can't help it, honest to God, because it seems too ridiculous that _Bucky_ has never kissed a girl. Bucky, who at sixteen looks like he could be a movie star, who shot past Steve when he had his growth spurt at fourteen and has been steadily building muscle ever since. It's crazy and Steve's still giggling when Bucky smacks him, albeit rather gently, over the head.

"But why'd you lie to me?" He asks. Bucky shrugs and he feels the movement against his own shoulder.

"I dunno, Steve. I guess I kinda wanted to impress you. Thought you'd think me to be some kinda mug who couldn't get no dames."

"I never kissed a girl." Steve reminds him and finally, Bucky turns his head to look at Steve, with these wide eyes and an apology forming on his lips.

"Aw, Stevie, I didn't mean it like tha-" Steve waves him off.

"It's ok, Buck, I know I'm not a catch. I'll have my growth spurt soon enough and then they'll be flocking round the corners, right?" He says with a halfhearted grin, repeating what almost everyone says to him. 

"They don't know what they're missing out on," Bucky grumbles, "I don't want no dames to be all over you just because you put on a few inches. They gotta like you for who you are, and if they can't see that now, then they're just crazy broads."

"That's awful nice of you to say, Bucky." Steve says quietly after a moment and they fall into silence for a while. 

"So all that talk of how good it was playin' backseat bingo with some dame, that's all made up?" Steve says at last, grinning at Bucky who shifts beside him. 

"Uh-huh."

"And all those times you've gone on about how amazing it was to kiss Suzie Collins from round the block or Wendy from the diner - that wasn't true?"

"You know it ain't, Steve, stop asking."

Steve's laughing again, and it's not spiteful or mean; he just can't hold it in, because they're sixteen and they're lying side by side in Steve's living room and Bucky's lied about kissing girls to impress him which is absolutely hilarious - like Steve would think any less of Bucky than he already did. Like Steve didn't already look up to Bucky more than he knew. He looks over and Bucky's finally cracked a grin and they lie there giggling until Bucky tells him to pipe down or he'll wake his ma. 

"So neither of us knows what a proper kiss feels like now." 

"I guess not," Bucky sighs, "I want to, though. Feel like I'm missing out."

Steve murmurs in agreement and then a thought occurs to him. A stupid, dangerous thought that holds a million ways of going wrong. He voices it anyway though, because when has Steve ever been known for his good ideas.

"You could try on me, if you want." He says and he imagines he can feel Bucky freezing beside him. The following silence is much too long and their breathing is much too loud and Steve's about to apologise and laugh and take it back because of course he was joking, jeez Bucky, you think I was serious?

"You'd be okay with that?" 

Steve's thinks he feels his heart stop, and shrugs as calmly as possible.

"Sure, why not? Just to know what it feels like, right?" Bucky nods. They sit up, the rustle of blankets and clothes louder than it should be, until their backs are against the couch and knees knocking side by side. Steve can't look at him. 

"I'll do it like they do in the movies." Bucky murmurs.

"Like in the movies." Steve repeats, and his voice is hoarse. They're old enough to know that boys don't kiss other boys. They know that the boy who kisses other boys ends up beaten and bloody in a back alley. That does't stop them from leaning into each others space, doesn't stop the hand that wraps around Steve's skinny wrist. His heart is slamming against his ribcage and he doesn't know where to look so he shuts his eyes and waits. 

The first press of lips is soft and dry and Steve lets out a breath he didn't know he'd been holding. He's wondering if this is all there is to it when Bucky opens his mouth a little and Steve follows and _oh_ , that's why people do this, he thinks. Bucky's mouth is warm and he tastes of mint and soda and Steve's hoping that he tastes just as sweet when Bucky does something with his tongue that effectively stops Steve from thinking.

They're kissing proper, like they do in the movies, and Steve's smiling into it a little because it's his first kiss and boy, does it feel nice. Bucky bites softly on his lower lip and Steve can't stop the noise that he makes but Bucky doesn't seem to mind, and the next thing Steve feels is warm fingers ghosting against his ribs and somehow his own hands have made their way into Bucky's hair and it's good, it's so, so good and then Bucky pulls away. They're breathing hard, Bucky's lips are red and wet and his hand is still on Steve's side under his shirt. Seemingly reluctantly, he removes it. 

"Was that.. okay?" Steve asks, and he's unable to stop his eyes from dropping when Bucky raises a hand to wipe at his mouth. 

"Yeah," Bucky says and pauses, "It was good. Was it, uh, for you?"

Steve nods and he still feels a little shaky with adrenaline. 

"So now we know what it's like, I guess." He says, staring at his hands because looking at Bucky with his mussed up hair and flushed cheeks is too difficult right now.

"Yeah. I'd like to do it again sometime-"

"You would?" Steve says, head snapping up and eyes wide.

"-if a dame would let me." Bucky finishes, but he's staring at Steve with a look that he doesn't recognise on his face. Steve feels the breath stick in his throat and for a moment he's terrified.

" _You_ would?" Bucky says and Steve doesn't think he can speak. But he looks at Bucky again and he doesn't see anger or hatred in his eyes so he takes a deep breath.

"If you'd let me." He half whispers.

"I would, Stevie. I always would."

They kiss and they kiss and they kiss, all through the night until their lips are numb and they know exactly how it feels to be kissed proper like in the movies.


End file.
